To the North

Hi all !

When I say "To the North", I don't mean the North of Ireland, I mean Finland.
To be honest, I can't remember if I mentioned on my last post about mini trip to Finland.
Well, nonetheless, a week ago, I traveled back to Ireland from Finland, back to home from home.

Yea, so a bit over a week ago I went to Finland for a few days.
We left with my bf on Friday and came back on Monday.

                                           

I can't tell you how stressed about the flight I was.
Back in Finland doctors scared me to death with flying and I still haven't overcome that fear.
And it was very cruel thing to do, since I have always loved flying.
But yeah, I spent many weeks before the trip awake at night, with my thoughts and also fearing how the flight might go wrong with my crappy lungs if they don't keep their shit together.

On Friday, I went to the gym really early and after that returned back home and got ready.
At the airport we did some basic airport shopping, chocolate and a bit booze for family and friends.
Our flight was a bit late and for that one time when I had decided that I will survive this trip with small luggage, they decided to take my small bag away and put it into the hold.
Needless to say that I was pissed.
By the time when we got to the plane, found our seats and were ready to take off, I tried to take it as cool as possible. Dying inside of my head because of the panic but acting cool on the outside, trying to breathe normally.


       

(Flying: it's serious business)

The flight went fine. I focused on listening to music and reading my book. Had little snacks as well and that 3 hours flight fly by, haha.
Okay, the flight went fine but I had pain on the right side of my chest/ribs, more on the rib area than chest. It wasn't constant, luckily. I figure it's the fuckin' bullae that's gonna blow up one day, the very one doctors back in Finland warned me about before I moved to Ireland. Oh well, shit happens and splatters...
We landed to Finland in time even tho' we took off a bit late. I got my bag luckily very fast and I just wanted to get out of the airport and head home.
It was so great to see my dad waiting us at the airport. Big hug for daddy and after that we left and headed home.

                                               

(Love <3)

When we opened the door to my parents house, there was a choir of dogs, barking at us. And oh my goodness, how I loved seeing my dog! My heart was so full of joy and happiness and love seeing her after a long time. She greeted us bringing her toys and jumping and kisses. My parents dogs jumped and came for pets as well.
It was great. If I had missed something the most, it was my dog.

                                 

(From our morning walk <3)

On the next day (Saturday) I went for a walk with my mom and her dog and my dog. Weather was absolutely amazing. It was kinda soul therapy for me.
In Finland, you can walk in forests, roads, anywhere for maybe 8 kilometers and you don't see anyone else. That is love. Being in peace and calmness.
In Ireland, no. That's not gonna happen. There is people everywhere. No matter what. So, sometimes my Finnish nature misses that calmness and loneliness, walking and wondering alone without anyone else being around.
So, I really enjoyed our morning walk. Sure, my mother was there, but it doesn't count.
Soul therapy, as I said.

                                             

(Brother)

Later in the evening we had few drinks at my parents house and my very best friend came as well.
Had drinks with my bf, my brother, my bff and her bf. And at some point my dad gave us a lift to the town. We went to few pubs for drinks and then headed to night club.
Absolutely amazing and great time! I had so much fun.

                                

(Missus of my life)

I have to tell you about one old school mate I met that night. I first met him at the one of the pubs we went to. I bumped into him and kindly asked if he was who I thought he was, he said yes and repeated the same with me. Haha. Best part was him saying "You have gotten very pretty!". Like, gee thanks. And yea thanks, I do know I wasn't the prettiest girl in the school, I'm still not.
I met him at the night club again and we had a little chat, pretty much talking about what was going on each others lives now a days. At some point he said "I remember how you got so thin at one time". I literally was speechless. We were never like good friends or anything, more likely just acquaintance. I was so speechless that he had noticed, he remembered the time I got sick with anorexia.
"Try to get a bit more meat around your bones" he said and I promised to him that I will and that it's all under control now a days.
After that I found my friend and brother and his friends, with whom I ended up spending the most of the night. It was fun. I had a good time. I told my brothers friends that they can kick me out of their company any given time, but to them it was okay me hanging with them. I have to admit, I had so much fun, I laughed so much that my belly hurt at some point. I also played pool! I played against my brother, my bf and some random guy. And it was so funny when guys came to give me advises.
To be honest, I can't remember when I had last time so much fun.
Was I drunk? Hmmm, yes. Was I "over"drunk? No.
Handled my liquor, way to go my big liver! I knew you can do it! Haha.

Have to thank my bestie and brother and everyone else, my bestie's bf, my bf, my brother's friends for the great time I had. Thanks for making me having such a good time.

Oh well, next morning I had horrible hang over. Or the headache was making it horrible.
I had a little breakfast in the morning and went back to bed. I felt so bad because I really wanted to go for a walk with my dog but I was afraid if I would stay up, I would start puking. And naturally, I didn't want that to happen. So, I stayed in bed for hours.
My parents took dogs for a walk and after the walk my dog came inside. She came into bed with me.
My bf was gone with his friends already so there was enough room in the bed for her (to be honest, there is always room for my dog, not too sure about my bf tho' haha).
Best part was when my dog came right next to me, her back against my chest and she just laid there with me. I curled my arm around her and she didn't mind, she just laid there. I have to admit that it made me cry and I'm nearly crying now when I think of her.
It was the best hangover cure.
There is no love like the love of your dog.


                             

(Love <3)

Later that day when I had my shit together I visited my grandpa with my mom.
I knew he had been quite sick and in hospital so it felt good to see him in his own apartment.
Actually, it was one of the reasons why I wanted to go to Finland for a few days, to see grandpa and my dog (and yea sure, my family and bestie as well).
Had a nice chat with him and it felt good to see that he was doing a bit better. 

                                         

(Grandpa in the good mood :) )

Later enjoyed dinner made by my dad. If I had missed something, it was salmon made by my dad. And fuck the meal plan, I kinda went overboard with the salmon. But hey, it's protein.
(To be honest, my trainer wasn't too happy hearing that but whatever, it was just one little slip)

Early in the Monday morning my dad gave us a lift to the bus, as we took a bus to the airport.
My dad would have taken us to the airport but he had to be at work and he couldn't miss it.
Sure, my brother offered to give us a lift as well, but I wasn't comfortable with the idea of him driving alone home from the airport and I think it was important for him to be at school.
So, we took a bus ride to the airport. A bit stressed about it I was, as I hadn't taken bus to the airport in over 13 years. But we made it. Did the check in, had breakfast, did a little shopping again (whoops!) and got to our gate on time. 

                                 

Flight again went fine. Focused on my book and listening music, took it cool. Okay, again the very same pain on the right side of my ribs. And again, it wasn't constant.
We were back in Ireland in reasonable time. We took airport bus again to get back home.
After we got back home from home, it was time for a little walk, meal prepping and unpacking. 

                                

The next day it was time to get back to work and gym.

Yesterday I met my bf's brother. He asked how was our trip to Finland and he asked at some point, which I would prefer more, living in Finland or in here, Ireland.
I think my answer surprised him a bit, I said it's 50/50.
My dog, the love of my life, the saviour is in Finland and I miss her so damn much everyday. There is an emptiness in me every day.
And sure, it would be easier to stay on track with this damn illness in Finland.
But, I wouldn't have a job in Finland and I wouldn't be able to live together with my bf so.. it's 50/50.

It was easier to leave Finland this time. I guess it's because I kinda have built my life around here a bit. Sure, I was sad and heart broken to leave my dog. Had tears in my eyes when we left the house, had tears in my eyes when the plane took off.
But I know she is happy there with my parents and my parents dogs and her life is good there, she wouldn't be as happy in here Ireland, I know that.
And yea, I felt a bit homesick during last week, it was so nice to be at home, even tho' it was only a little while.

But my mother and brother are coming over to Ireland in next month, I'm so excited and happy about it already! :)

xoxo