The fault in our stars

Hi all!

I can finally say that I have read a book before I've seen the film!

Yeah, I'm gonna talk about a book called The fault in our stars.
If you have heard about this and you wanna read it or see the film, don't read any further.

                        

I finished it few days ago. I got the book maybe two or three months ago.
No, I'm not a slow reader, I just got to the point in the book that I didn't know if I wanted to finish it or not.

So, basically the book is about this terminally ill girl, Hazel Grace. Cancer that has spreaded to her lungs. She has to carry an oxygen tank with her all of the time. So, basically, she is a lot more sicker than I am. She is about ten years younger than I am. Still, despite the age difference between me and this fictional character, I felt I could relate to her most of the times.

                                                

Hazel meets this charming young man in a support group, Augustus Waters. Augustus had cancer as well, he had his other leg amputated.
Eventually they fall in love. They do these things together, even go to Amsterdam, which made feel good that even if you are terminally ill, attached to an oxygen tank that you have to carry around, you are still able to fly. Yes, I have heard about this also in real life, so it gave me hope that even if my situation gets worse, maybe I'll be able to fly as well and I don't have to sit around in a house and wait for death to come.

                           
In "The fault in our stars" Hazel loves this book called "An Imperial Affliction", which also tells about terminally ill girl. Sometimes it made me feel like I was Hazel, reading about another terminally ill girl.
"An Imperial Affliction" was written by Peter Van Houten in the book and he lived in Amsterdam. Hazel introduced this book to Augustus as well.
Augustus used his "Wish" to fly Hazel and himself to Amsterdam to meet Peter Van Houten, which ended up to be nothing that they expected.
But at the end of the book, it came clear that Peter Van Houten wrote the book based on his own experiences, he used to have a terminally ill daughter who died at very young age.
And all this, made Van Houten nothing but mean and sad alcoholic.

After their trip to Amsterdam, Augustus gets worser and it's clear that his cancer has recur.
And he dies very close to end of the book.

By the time Augustus got sick, I started to feel if I wanted to finish the book or not.
But I did, and as much as reading Augustus dying and leaving Hazel sad, I was happy I read the book, even tho' I felt sad as well.

                                      

The thing with chronical illness, or even with terminal illness is that no one really understands you.
I have started to understand the quote "No one gets it until they get it".
So, when I was reading this book, even tho' I'm not as sick as Hazel is *knocks wood*, I felt that someone understood.
This book made me anxious, sad, happy, laugh and cry. It was everything I expected it to be, and maybe a bit more. It was therapeutic in some level, at least to me.
It kinda made me to come in terms with my own illness. As some of you know, I haven't spoken to a therapist or a shrink about my illness and I intend to keep it that way. To be honest, I probably should, because there is so much heavy shit going on in my head and no one really to talk to about it. But how about No...

I have started to write again. Yes, my blog but also something else. Actually, I have started to write loads of things. I used to write so much when I was younger and I'm not the one to brag, but I was one of the best writers back in the school in my class. It feels great to be back at it again.

As I said, I have started to come in terms with my illness... it's heavy stuff. And I'm writing about it, everything that knocks in.
Maybe in near future, I will write about that stuff here in my blog, when the time is right, but not yet, as it is too much to get out of my chest and head for public eyes to read.

But going back to "The fault in our stars", I loved the book and I recommend it.
I'm not too sure if I want to see the movie. I like the image I have in my head.
Oh well, we'll see if I will watch the movie or not.
(Sorry I didn't wrote too much and too detailed about the book, I wanna save some for you, if any of you get's the sparkle to read it)

                                                

Ten points to John Green.

xoxo